honey bunches of taint.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
