i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Randomize
