Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
