theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
