Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Life is so much better after having sex.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
