Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
