I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
