were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
