Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
