oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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