A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Who died my cat blue again?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
