i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I have aggressive nipples.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
