I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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