I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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