Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
