sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
babies were throwing up all over the place
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
