Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
My vagina just clenched in fear
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
