So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
