I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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