I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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