erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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