Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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