I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just pee around me
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
