I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize