I love black thongs
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
