that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
