Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
