So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize