3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
There was a lot of him and a little penis
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
