I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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