I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
