ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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