honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
