Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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