I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Pappa wants mamma naked
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize