Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
