I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
