I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize