nut hugger
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
