that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
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