i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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