How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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