So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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