Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
