its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
