i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Randomize
