Your tits are I can't wait for
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
