I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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