I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
