You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
