**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize