farters have to be the big spoon...
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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