how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
