shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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