You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
that is very illegal...i love you.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
