Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
