at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
