This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
