why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
