Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
