That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Randomize
