Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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