He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize