Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize