So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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