If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
