TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
